Mercutio
by LilBlue-Hedggie
Summary: Because, lets face it, being with Juliet was statutory rape and it’s about time the world knew that Romeo really wanted Mercutio anyway. SasuNaru AU ONESHOT


**DISCALIMER: I don't own Naruto or Romeo and Juliet, ever will.**

**WARNING: Slash, SasuNaru, well pumped flowers...****  
**

Mercutio

This is it, Sakura thought, everything she'd worked up to. All those nights practicing her lines, acting lessons, rehearsals, memorization days, and finally this…. The real deal, she was really Juliet and Sasuke was really her Romeo. She wasn't concerned about stage fright; she'd already been on stage for her first few scenes. But this was_the_ scene. The Balcony Scene, the most romantic setting in history! She would get to kiss Sasuke. She frowned lightly at this though, because she and Sasuke should already have kissed in Act I. He'd tilted his head to make it look like he was kissing her, but really wasn't. But, she brightened, they would have a better angle in this scene, Sasuke would have to kiss her if the play was to be believable.

She glanced onstage to see Naruto and Lee yelling over the prop wall.

"_He ran this way, and leap'd this orchard wall: _

_Call, good Mercutio._"

Lee proclaimed.

Sakura didn't really think that Lee made a good Benvolio but his attitude fit the character well. She was interrupted by Naruto's humorous voice.

"_Nay, I'll conjure too._

_Romeo! humours! madman! passion! lover!_

_Appear thou in the likeness of a sigh: _

_Speak but one rhyme, and I am satisfied; _

_Cry but 'Ay me!' pronounce but 'love' and 'dove;' _

_Speak to my gossip Venus one fair word, _

_One nick-name for her purblind son and heir, _

_Young Adam Cupid, he that shot so trim, _

_When King Cophetua loved the beggar-maid! _

_He heareth not, he stirreth not, he moveth not; _

_The ape is dead, and I must conjure him. _

_I conjure thee by Rosaline's bright eyes, _

_By her high forehead and her scarlet lip, _

_By her fine foot, straight leg and quivering thigh _

_And the demesnes that there adjacent lie, _

_That in thy likeness thou appear to us!" _

Naruto gave a great laugh as his jested words ended.

Though she was loathe admitting it, Naruto made a good Mercutio. He was Sasuke's best friend and his personality was similar to Mercutio's, minus some of the bitterness. She had watched his Queen Mab speech and it had been really good, though she would have liked it better if he had forgotten a line. But, she thought brightly, he was the first character to die. Even if Romeo and Juliet died in the end, they died for love! How romantic!

"_Come, shall we go?"_

She blinked back to reality as she caught the end of Naruto's line.

"_Go, then; for 'tis in vain_

_To seek him here that means not to be found."_

Lee said back to Naruto and the two exited the scene. Naruto smiled at her as they passed.

"Good luck Sakura!"

She scoffed at him. "I don't need luck!"

Naruto shrugged, and then leaned against a nearby support beam to watch Sasuke enter the new scene.

"What are you doing?" She hissed at him.

"Watching, what does it look like?" He said without looking at her. He caught Sasuke's eye and waved to him while Sasuke nodded discretely back.

"Why? You hate this stuff." She said with genuine curiosity.

He shrugged again, "Sasuke said he wanted me to be here. It's a big scene; I guess he wanted me to watch."

Sakura made to reply but turned away when Iruka indicated for her to make her way up the steps to the balcony. Upon reaching the top she stopped and took a deep breath. When Iruka made a motion with his hand she stepped forward and leaned against the railing with her arms.

"_But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?_

_It is the east, and Juliet is the sun._

_Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,_

_Who is already sick and pale with grief,_

_That thou her maid art far more fair than she:_

_Be not her maid, since she is envious;_

_Her vestal livery is but sick and green_

_And none but fools do wear it; cast it off._

_It is my lady, O, it is my love!_

_O, that she knew she were!_

_She speaks yet she says nothing: what of that?_

_Her eye discourses; I will answer it._

_I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks:_

_Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,_

_Having some business, do entreat her eyes_

_To twinkle in their spheres till they return._

_What if her eyes were there, they in her head?_

_The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars,_

_As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven_

_Would through the airy region stream so bright_

_That birds would sing and think it were not night._

_See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!_

_O, that I were a glove upon that hand,_

_That I might touch that cheek!"_

Sakura sighed happily, but then remembered her line.

"_Ay me!"_

From there everything went according to plan, though when Sasuke was supposed to come up and kiss her he grabbed her shoulders and turned his back to the audience. Sasuke had moved his face close to hers but they hadn't really touched. She pouted in her head, maybe he was shy?

"_Well, do not swear: although I joy in thee,_

_I have no joy of this contract to-night:_

_It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden;_

_Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be_

_Ere one can say 'It lightens.' Sweet, good night!_

_This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath,_

_May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet._

_Good night, good night! as sweet repose and rest_

_Come to thy heart as that within my breast!"_

She was starting to get giddy now, it wasn't real but this was where they going to exchange vows! They weren't really getting married but this was a dream come true none the less!

"_O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?"_

"_What satisfaction canst thou have to-night?"_

She waited for Sasuke's next line but it never came. She started to panic, what if he'd forgotten his lines? She shook the thoughts out of her head, no way! Sasuke was too perfect to forget his lines. Just in case, she mouthed the lines to him. _The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine._

Sasuke just looked at her and smirked.

"You're right you know I can't have any satisfaction tonight… At least, not with you."

Sakura gaped at him, what was he doing?! He was purposely going against his lines. And what did he mean, _"Not with you?!"_

Sasuke gave her one final smirk and jumped off the balcony, landing with the grace and poise Sakura loved so much. He turned quickly and walked offstage leaving a shell-shocked Sakura and bewildered crowd. Soon enough they began whispering to each other in low tones. Sakura looked over the audience and blushed a brilliant red. She loved Sasuke dearly but this…this was utterly humiliating! She felt her eyes water up and was about to turn to leave the stage when Sasuke returned onstage, dragging a reluctant Naruto by the hand.

"Sasuke! What the hell are you doing?! Let go of be you bastard!"

Sasuke stopped at center stage and grabbed Naruto around the waist, pinning the small blonde against his body.

"You're ruining the scene! What are you– Mffffff!"

The entire room gasped as a whole when Naruto was silenced by Sasuke's lips. Naruto protested at first but gave up once he realized Sasuke wasn't letting go. A muffled squeak rang throughout the auditorium when Sasuke ran his hands along Naruto's back, underneath his shirt and below his waistline.

Sakura watched the whole thing in horror, why was Sasuke kissing _Naruto_ of all people?! And… was he using tongue? Yes! That was defiantly tongue right there! She blushed brightly when Sasuke pulled away, revealing a rather large um… _tent_ in his pants. Naruto, noticing it too, immediately tried to back away but didn't get very far before he was pinned again, stomach right at level with Sasuke's groin. He then started littering Naruto's neck with light kisses, nipping and biting at sensitive points. Sakura broke out of her stupor when Naruto gave out a small mewl.

"S-Sasuke? You and Naruto? Why?"

Sasuke stopped sucking on Naruto's neck and looked up at Sakura, hands still molesting the blonde.

"Because, lets face it, being with Juliet was statutory rape and it's about time the world knew that Romeo _really_ wanted Mercutio anyway."

By this point Naruto had regained control of himself and starting pulling Sasuke offstage, but found it difficult with Sasuke reattached to his neck.

Sakura looked after them with despair, but yet she couldn't help but think that…well…Damn that was a whole lot more romantic than the junk Shakespeare wrote!

"Can you at least take pictures?!" She hollered after them. Her reply was a booming laugh.

She paused, did this make it Romeo and Mercutio now? Either way, she was never going to see this play in the same light ever again.

LBH:…Okay I've had this in my head since forever, when I first read over Romeo and Juliet in school, I wasn't really thinking of making a story out of it at first because I was so bitter about reading it. (I had loads of projects and anything that causes me extra work makes me go **HULK SMASH!**) But then I've read all those stories where Naruto is Juliet and I happened to adore Mercutio, and suddenly BAM! Mercutio is best friends with Romeo and Naruto is best friends with Sasuke, Naruto makes a better Mercutio than Juliet anyway. Plus, Juliet was like, what? Thirteen or something in Shakespeare's original play? Statutory people! So thus, this was born.

**EDIT:** Looking over this story in my profile, I realized I left out my absolute favorite part of Romeo and Juliet! So I'll just say it now, Sasuke's pump in now well flowered.

…My English teacher had a dreadful sense of humor…geese I miss him…


End file.
